Today’s post begins a series on a topic no one likes to talk about but everyone should: sexual abuse. During the month of January I will be telling the story of ”Zohara” a post at a time and sharing with you important facts about a tragedy that strikes 12-15% of girls and 8-10% of boys by age 18 (American Academy of Pediatrics). And that’s only the cases that are reported.

If you know someone who has been sexually abused I invite you to invite them to subscribe to my blog. Perhaps they will find information and encouragement to help them heal.

So, let’s begin the story of Zohara. Then I will end with some facts and observations.

Once there was a couple who had only one daughter, they named her Zohara, which means light,” for she was as beautiful as the sun. When Zohara was still a child, her father died. Years passed, and Zohara’s mother remarried.

Her stepfather was kind enough to Zohara as long as she did as he commanded. Often, she had to go to the market for him. At other times, he would give her his clothes to wash in the river while he sat nearby and watched her work. One afternoon he said to Zohara, “Come let us go to the forest to cut some firewood and perhaps find some flowers.” Zohara agreed, and they walked into the woods, deeper and deeper. “Oh, here is some good firewood,” said Zohara. “No, no,” replied her stepfather, “let’s walk further along, so we can cut some of the thicker trees.” It was quiet in the deep forest–only the song of a bird or the rustle of leaves could be heard in the heavy silence.

The stepfather stopped in a small clearing. As Zohara was looking at the trees, he suddenly grabbed her by the waist and embraced her, not the way a father embraces a child, but rather as a hungry, rough lover would do after he had been away at sea for many years. Although taken by surprise, Zohara quickly understood what was happening, and she pushed and kicked at him with all her strength. She bit and spit and screamed, although there was no one in the woods who could have come to help her. Finally, disgusted that he could not have his way with her, the stepfather threw Zohara to the ground and quickly cut off one hand and one leg. “This will be the end of you,” he laughed with a cruel sneer. That will teach you to disobey me.” And the stepfather left the forest alone.

When he returned home, his wife asked: “Where is Zohara?” “I don’t know,” he said, “She is a willful child and often goes off by herself.” What could the mother do? Her heart gave her other messages, but she had no proof that anything was wrong. Only when her daughter did not return home for supper, did she know that something evil had happened to Zohara…” To be continued…

adapted from “Zohara” in Jewish Stories One Generation Tells Another, by Peninnah Schram

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Sexual abuse is defined as any contact or interaction with a child by an adult, adolescent, or older child for the purpose of sexual simulation. Sexual abuse includes “touching abuse:” fondling “private parts,” touching a child’s genitals or asking a child to touch someone else’s genitals, gential, oral, or anal intercourse, forcing a child into prostitution. Sexual abuse also includes “nontouching abuse:” showing pornography to a child, exposing oneself, photographing a child in sexual poses, encouraging a child to watch or listen to sexual acts, verbal or emotinal abuse of a sexual nature, watching a child undress or use the bathroom, often without the child’s knowledge.

As in the beginning of our story, 90% of sexual abusers are not strangers. They are usually people the child trusts. Like the mother in the story, nonoffending parents often keep silent about abuse they suspect or know is happening, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of shame.

Monday our story continues as we look at the scars of sexual abuse.

If you would like more information about sexual abuse or would like to speak with me privately about abuse in your past I invite you to email me at jim@hearttales.net. All correspondence will be kept confidential.

If you would like inspiration to seek help for abuse in your past I invite you to pick up a copy of my book, The Cracked Pot: Finding Grace int he Cracks of Childhood Abuse, at Amazon.com. Learn more at my website http://acrackedpot.com