How do we help someone when we learn they have been sexually abused? We continue the story of Zohara Which provides us food for thought on this important question.

When Zohara came to, it was almost dark. She quickly took her handkerchief and her apron and wound them tightly around her leg and arm. Then she reached for a low branch of a nearby tree and pulled herself up slowly from the ground. Using a sturdy stick she found nearby, Zohara hopped through the woods, in the opposite direction from her home, until she could see the lights of a village through the trees. Near the edge of the forest Zohara saw a cottage.

In that cottage lived a jeweler who dealt in silver and gold. He lived alone most of the year. His mother and father and sister lived in another village several days travel away, and when there wasn’t much work for him, the jeweler went to visit them. The jeweler heard a knock at the door. Out of the darkness he heard a pitiful weak voice calling, “Let me in. Please, please open the door.”

The jeweler opened the door slowly and saw no one. But when he looked down, he saw a young girl with bloody wounds, lying on the ground. Without a moment’s hesitation, he picked her up and brought her into the house. Quickly he washed her wounds and wrapped clean cloths around them. He gave her some warm soup and wine to drink. Then she slept while he watched over her all night.

The next day, she awoke late in the morning. At first, she was frightened when she saw the strange man, but he calmed her and comforted her and said, “Don’t be afraid. I will care for you until you become stronger.” She felt safe and told the jeweler all that had happened to her, but she did not tell him that the man who had attacked her was her stepfather…To be continued…

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If someone, a child or an adult, reveals to us that they have been sexually abused, it’s natural to feel angry, upset, or inadequate to help. Here are some sugestions for handling such a difficult revelation.

Stay calm. If you become upset the person sharing this painful information may decide to stop talking to spare you and them the discomfort and embarrassment.

Be patient. This is difficult information for a person to share with you. Let the person tell you about the abuse in his or her own words. Do not press him or her for details or give the person the feeling you are interogating them.

Listen to what the person is telling you and believe him or her. Acknowledge what the person is feeling and how difficult is was for them to tell you.

Let the person know how proud you are of him or her for having the courage to tell about the abuse.

Reassure and comfort the person. Let them know you will do everything in your power to keep them save.

As much as you might want to, it is important that you do not make any promises you may not be able to keep.

In many states, if a child reports sexual abuse to you, you have a legal obligation to report it to the state’s child protection services.

Finally, encourage and assist the person is seeking professional help. Sexual abuse leaves lasting emotinal scars that affect every area of the victim’s life.

Like Zohara, abuse victims need us to provide them safety and care so they can begin the healing process.