What are some signs that we’ve begun to heal from sexual abuse? The final installment of the story of Zohara shed’s light on this important question. 

With her new found wealth, Zohara bought more houses, repaired and furnished them, and opened them up as houses of welcome to all the poor and needy. Poor people came, and so did orphans and widows. She fed and housed them, supported them, cured them of their illnesses. Soon Zohara became known throughout the land, not only for her charity and her cures, but also for her wise judgments. People came for her good advice and for her just decisions.

One day, many years later, two families of poor wanderers came to Zohara’s house. She immediately recognized who they were: her mother and stepfather and her husband with her mother-in-law. But they did not recognize her. She took them in, actually giving them better treatment than all the others around them. She cured them of their ills and offered them generous hospitality.

At times, she heard them discussing some matter in very excited tones. Once, as they were arguing, Zohara asked: “What is it you are quarreling about?” Zohara’s stepfather replied, “My stepdaughter disappeared from home one day, many years ago. My wife, her mother, keeps accusing me of having caused this.” Then Zohara’s mother-in-law said, “My daughter-in-law suddenly left my house in the middle of the night, taking her baby boy with her. My son, her husband, keeps accusing me of having thrown her out. After presenting their disagreements and telling their unhappy stories, the two families said to their generous benefactor, “Perhaps you can solve these disputes, since you are known to be such a wise judge.”

And Zohara replied, “This daughter, daughter-in-law, and wife is actually here. I’ll call her to come and be a witness. Then we can all know the truth about what happened in both these cases.” When the families heard this they were shocked and surprised. They waited in suspense for Zohara, some in fright and some in happiness.

Finally, Zohara spoke again. “You are all waiting for Zohara to appear. But she is here in front of you. I am Zohara and this young man standing beside me is my son.” Seeing their reactions she wisely added, “But do not be afraid, for I do not plan to punish you. I have forgiven all of you now and continue to support you, because God helped me out of all my suffering.”

When the stepfather heard this, he trembled so violently that he died. The mother-in-law became ill and died not long after that. Zohara’s mother stayed with Zohara, overjoyed to be reunited with her daughter. Zohara’s husband asked forgiveness and lived with her and their son, working together to help people who came to their house. They had more children and, in time, grandchildren who continued the good work of their parents. May we all be like them too!

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The desire to forgive our abusers is a sure sign that we have moved a ways along on the road to healing. Forgiving our abusers releases us from their grip and frees us from being frozen in the past. Forgiveness is a choice that empowers us to retake control of our lives. 

Another sign that we’ve begun to heal from sexual abuse is a desire to use our hard earned wisdom to help others heal. If we allow the experience of abuse to make us better instead of bitter, we can use what we’ve learned to help others on their journey toward wholeness. Helping others who are suffering gives purpose and meaning to what we have suffered.

Sexual abuse is a hidden epidemic that is destroying countless lives. If you have been a victim of abuse I hope the story of Zohara has encouraged you to start or continue your journey toward wholeness.