My next four stories will be shedding light on a condition that effects an estimated 1% of the American population: Dissociative Identity Disorder. But before I can share the stories and the insights they give I need to tell you what Dissociative Identity Disorder is. Here is a summary from the book I wrote about my experience with Dissociative Identity Disorder. 

When a child endures repeated and inescapable trauma, he or she will sometimes develop a coping mechanism clinicians call Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.). D.I.D. is “an extremely effective defense against acute physical and emotional pain [in which] thoughts, feelings, memories, and perceptions of the traumatic experiences can be separated off psychologically, allowing the child to function as if the trauma had not occurred…Repeated dissociation may result in a serious of separate entities, or mental states, which may eventually take on identities of their own. These entities may become the internal ‘personality states’ of a D.I.D. system. Changing between these states of consciousness is often described as ’switching.’”*

Dissociative Identity Disorder is like the experience of driving a car to a familiar destination while thinking of other things. Once we arrive, most of us are startled to realize that we have no memory of the drive we’ve just taken. It seems as if someone else has been driving our car. Someone else has. A part of our mind–our “auto-pilot’ - has taken over and kept us safe during the drive.

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. When I learned what this disorder is it explained alot of the thinking and behaving I had engaged in throughout my life.  My next several posts will share stories that have been helpful to me in understanding Dissociative Identity Disorder and its effect on my life. My hope is that my reflections and expereinces will shed light on this much misunderstood disorder and help anyone who may be suffering from it.

In my next post I’ll share the story of “Nettles” and what it teaches about coping with D.I.D. and other mental health challenges.

—

*”What is Dissociative Identity Disorder?” The Sidran Foundation. (www.sidran.org)

To read more about Dissociative Identity Disorder see my book The Cracked Pot: Finding Grace in the Cracks of Sexual Abuse at http://acrackedpot.com.