In my struggle with mental illness my therapist taught me that compassionate treatment of mental illness requires an ear that listens.

It’s a sad fact that many of us trying to cope with mental illness have no one to listen to us. Some of us have been stigmatized into silence. We dare not speak our pain for fear of the negative attention it may bring us. Some of us have been isolated into silence. Friends, family, and community have withdrawn from us leaving us to suffer and cope on our own with no one to confide in. Some of us have been counseled into silence. Repeated mismatching of therapists with our needs has left us feeling misunderstood and ambivalent toward the therapeutic process.

I consider myself fortunate, no, blessed, to have had a therapist who listened deeply to me. My therapist listened me back into existence. She listened to me cry my abandonment and curse my abuse. My counselor listened to my failures without judgment and to my fears without disdain. And she listened with clinical expertise to the symptoms of my depression and dissociative identity disorder and offered me ways to heal. When my therapist listened to my anger, hurt, shame, failure, darkness, and symptoms she communicated compassion to me. Her compassion told me I was worth something even when my illness caused me to feel worthless.

Listening requires maintaining an active presence, empathy, and openness to hear the person telling their story–something difficult to do when the story being told is filled with the pain of depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, or dissociative identity disorder. Listening is difficult where forgiveness is needed, yet listening is often the key that unlocks the compassion hidden in our hearts that enables us to forgive. Theologian Paul Tillich wrote, “The first duty of love is to listen.”

You don’t have to be a therapist to have an ear that listens. Do you know someone with a mental illness who needs to be listened to? Do you listen to what your own pain is telling you? Compassionate treatment of mental illness requires an ear that listens.