Many times the pain we have suffered in our life is so great that it’s hard to let go of. We become identified with our pain. It’s who we are. When we can’t let go of our pain we become stuck in it and we can’t move on from the past.

When I was very young I was sexually abused by my mother and uncles. I managed to hold my life together until I was twenty-six. But from age twenty-six for the next twenty years I had all sorts of problems in my marriage, family, and career until I finally got help for the abuse I experienced as a child.

What kinds of scars did the abuse leave behind? Feelings of anger, worthlessness, helplessness, and depression; thoughts of suicide, trust issues in my relationships, marriage problems and mental illness.

When we are scarred by abuse we can

• Kill the pain by medicating it with booze, drugs, thrill seeking, sex, cutting, or over-eating.
• Shout the pain by acting it out through defiance, risk taking, bullying, aggression, or violence.
• Blame the pain by inflicting it on those we think caused it by treating them with anger, rejection, physical abuse, or punishing them with our own suicide.
• Or we can heal the pain by getting help. Asking for help is a sign of strength. The journey from abuse to wholeness cannot be walked alone. You need a wise companion.

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain but they aren’t willing to make healing a high priority. They aren’t willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.

Where can you look for help to heal? Find a trusted family member or adult, a clergy person, teacher, guidance counselor, youth leader, social worker or counselor. Do a web search for the type of help you are looking for.

How high a priority are you willing to make healing?

Abuse leaves scars, get help to heal or you will be another hurting person hurting people!

Hurting people hurt people. Forgive to be free!

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Next time: The past is not your future if you accept that you will screw up. Fail forward!