” ‘God will forgive you!’ said he. ‘Maybe I am a hundred times worse than you.’ And at these words his heart grew light and the longing for home left him. He no longer had any desire to leave the prison, but only hoped for his last hour to come. “ 

What caused this change in Ivan’s heart? When Ivan entered the prison he began to seek God, reading the Lives of the Saints, and singing in the prison church choir. Eventually the very evil that brought Ivan to the prison pushed him into the arms of the God whom he sought, where he found great mercy, grace, and consolation. The mercy, grace, and consolation he found in the arms of God empowered Ivan to finally let go of his bitterness and trust God with his life.

When we, like Ivan, are being crushed by evil, we have a choice. Will we become bitter and flee from God or will we flee to the arms of God, the only arms big enough to hold our souls safe the maelstrom of evil?

When, like Ivan in Tolstoy’s story, evil befalls us and we suffer unjustly, it is more helpful to ask “what” than “why.”

We do not have the eternal perspective of God to accurately answer the question of “why” evil befalls us and causes us to suffer. But we can answer the question of “what.”

What am I going to do in the situation I find myself in? What choices will I make about my attitude in the middle of unjust suffering? Will I allow my experience to make me better or bitter?

Ivan wrestled with these questions. When Makar Semyonitch entered the prison camp and Ivan began to suspect that it was he who killed the merchant and set Ivan up to take the rap for it, Tolstoy writes of Ivan:

“He longed for vengeance, even if he himself should perish for it.”

Ivan had chosen to let the evil that befell him make him bitter.For twenty-six years that bitterness had been eating Ivan alive from the inside out and left him a shadow of his former self. Ivan’s bitterness was like him swallowing poison and then waiting for Makar Semyonitch to die. And when Makar didn’t die Ivan toyed with finishing him off himself.

That bitterness came to a head when Ivan determined that Makar Semyonitch was responsible for his being sent to prison. Infected by the snake bite of bitterness, all Ivan could think about was passing the venom of bitterness along.

But Ivan had been injected with the antidote for bitterness. And that antidote was also silently at work within him. In our last post on this topic we will reflect on the antidote to bitterness caused by evil that befalls us unjustly.

Reflecting on Leo Tolstoy’s short story, ”God Sees the Truth, But Waits,” I suspect that there are many people, like me, who identify all too well with Ivan’s plight. What did he do to deserve the evil that befell him? What did I do to deserve the evil that befell me in my childhood? Where was God as Ivan suffered unjustly? Where was God when I suffered unjustly at the hands of my abusers?

Tolstoy’s answer to these questions is found in Ivan’s reflection on his wife’s suspicion of him.

“It seems that only God can know the truth, it is to him alone we must appeal, and from him alone expect mercy.”

No matter how you explain it, God’s relationship to evil is a great mystery and will remain so because God sees eternity through an open door but we see eternity only through a keyhole. In other words,  because we are finite we cannot be privy to all that God knows.

And even if we had a perfectly logical explanation as to why God allows evil to befall people it would still not lessen the pain and agony of people who are suffering.

The only thing we can do in the midst of suffering caused by evil is to appeal to the mercy of God and believe that God knows and is in our suffering with us. The suffering of God with his people in Jesus Christ on the cross is one of the great truths and great mysteries of Christianity.

The other great truth of Christianity that sustains people who suffer unjustly is that God will one day balance the scales and make all things right. There is coming a day when God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. When that day will come no one knows. We must wait with faith for it.

Makar Semyonitch is on his knees begging for forgiveness. What will Ivan’s response be?

Makar Semyonitch did not rise, but beat his head on the floor. “Ivan, forgive me!” he cried. ”When they flogged me  it was not so hard to bear as to see you now…yet you had pity on me, and did not tell. For Christ’s sake forgive me, wretch that I am!” And he began to sob.

When Ivan heard him sobbing he, too, began to weep.

“God will forgive you!” he said. “Maybe I am a hundred times worse than you.” And at these words his heart grew light, and the longing for home left him. He no longer had any desire to leave the prison, but only hoped for his last hour to come.

In spite of what Ivan had said, Makar Semyonitch confessed his guilt. But when the order for his release came, Ivan was already dead.

—

In my next post I will offer some personal reflections on this story. See you on Thursday!

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

The tunnel was discovered. The prisoners were questioned. But Ivan refused to tell on Makar Semyonitch.

That night, when Ivan was lying on his bed and just beginning to doze, someone came quietly and sat down on his bed. He peered through the darkness and recognized Makar.

“What do you want of me?” asked Ivan. “Why have you come here?”

“Makar Semyonitch was silent. So Ivan sat up and said, “What do you want? Go away, or I will call the guard!”

Makar Semyonitch bent close over Ivan, and whispered, Ivan, forgive me!”

“What for?” asked Ivan.

“It was I who killed the merchant and hid the knife among your things. I meant to kill you too, but I heard a noise outside; so I hid the knife in your bag and escaped out the window.”

Ivan was silent, and did not know what to say. Makar Semyonitch slid off the bed and knelt upon the ground. “Ivan,” he said, “forgive me! For the love of God, forgive me! I will confess it was I who killed the merchant, and you will be released and you can go home.”

“It is easy for you to talk,” said Ivan, “but I have suffered for you these twenty-six years. Where could I go to now?…My wife is dead, and my children have forgotten me. I have no where to go…”

—

A lifetime of unjust suffering from the lies of an evil man, how will it all end? Thursday’s post will reveal “The Law and Order twist!”

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Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

 Ivan has discovered Makar’s escape plan. Makar threatened Ivan with death if he reveals it.

The next day, when the convicts were led out to work, the convoy soldiers noticed that one or other of the prisoners emptied some earth out of his boots. The prison was searched, and the tunnel found. The warden came and questioned all the prisoners to find out who had dug the hole. They all denied any knowledge of it. Those who knew would not betray Makar Semyonitch , knowing he would be flogged almost to death. At last the warden turned to Ivan, whom he knew to be a just man, and said:

“You are a truthful old man; tell me, before God, who dug the hole.”

Makar Semyonitch stood as if he were quite unconcerned, looking at the warden and not so much as glancing at Ivan. Ivan’s lips and hands trembled, and for a long time he could not utter a word. He thought “Why should I shield him who ruined my life? Let him pay for what I have suffered. But if I tell, they will probably flog the life out of him and maybe I suspect him wrongly. And after all, what good would it be to me?”

“Well, old man,” repeated the warden, “tell us the truth: who has been digging under the wall?”

Ivan glanced at Makar Semyonitch, and said, “I cannot say, sir. It is not God’s will that I should tell! Do what you like with me; I am in your hands.”

However much the warden tried, Ivan would say no more, and so the matter had to be left.

—

Would Ivan have felt better if he told on Makar?

 —

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

We left Ivan filled with suspicion and bitterness toward the new convict Makar Semyonitch.

After fortnight of sleeplessness nights and miserable days Ivan did not know what to do. One night, as he was walking about the prison he noticed some earth that came rolling out from one of the bunks on which the prisoners slept. He stopped to see what it was. Suddenly, Makar Semyonitch crept out from under the bed, and looked up at Ivan with a frightened face. Ivan tried to pass without looking at him, but Makar seized his hand and told him that he had dug a hole under the wall, getting rid of the earth by putting it into his high boots, and emptying it out every day on the road when the prisoners were driven to their work.

“Just you keep quiet, old man, and you shall get out too. If you blab they’ll flog the life out of me, but I will kill you first.”

Ivan trembled with anger as he looked at his enemy. He drew his hand away saying, “I have no wish to escape, and you have no need to kill me; you killed me long ago! As to tell of you–I may do so or not, as God shall direct.”

—

Will Ivan tell on Makar? Would you? Come back on Thursday to find out!

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

Ivan’s conversation with Makar, the new prisoner in the camp, has raised Ivan’s suspicions about him.

When Ivan heard Makar’s words about the death of the merchant Ivan was accused of murdering, he felt sure this was the man who had killed the merchant. He rose and went away. All that night Ivan laid awake. He felt terribly unhappy, and all sorts of images rose in his mind. There was the image of his wife as she was when he parted from her to go to the fair. He saw her as if she were present; her face and eyes rose before him; he heard her speak and laugh. Then he saw his children, quite little, as they were at the time: one with a little cloak on, another at his mother’s breast. and then he remembered himself as he used to be-young and merry. He remembered how he sat playing the guitar on the porch of the inn where he was arrested, and how free from care he had been. He saw on his mind, the place where he was flogged, the executioner, and the people standing around; the chains, the convicts, all the twenty-six years of his prison life, and his premature old age. The thought of it all made him so wretched he was ready to kill himself.

“And it’s all that villain’s doing!” thought Ivan. And his anger was so great against Makar Semyonitch that he longed for vengeance, even if he himself should perish for it. He kept repeating prayers all night, but could get no peace. During the day he did not go near Makar Semyonitch, nor even look at him.

—

Bitterness is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

Ivan had met the new convict Makar Semyonitch. As they get to know each other Ivan begins to wonder who this Semyonitch really is.

When Makar Semyonitch heard how Ivan had been unjustly condemned, he looked at Ivan, slapped his own knee, and exclaimed, “Well this is wonderful! Really wonderful! But how old you’ve grown, Gran’dad!”

The others asked him why he was so surprised, and where he had seen Ivan before; but Makar Semyonitch did not reply. He only said, “It’s wonderful that we should meet here, lads!”

These words made Ivan wonder whether this man knew who had killed the merchant; so he said, Perhaps, Semyonitch, you have heard of that affair or maybe you’ve seen me before?”

“How could I help hearing? The world’s full of rumors. But it’s long ago, and I’ve forgotten what I heard.”

“Perhaps you heard who killed the merchant?” asked Ivan.

Makar laughed, and replied, “It must have been him in whose bag the knife was found! If someone else hid the knife there, ‘he’s not a thief till he’s caught,’ as the saying goes. How could anyone put a knife into your bag while it was under your head? It would surely have woke you up?”

What effect will Ivan’s suspicions of Makar have on him? Come back Monday to find out!

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

Now imprisoned in Siberia for a crime he did not commit, a new admission to the prison camp rocks Ivan’s world.

One day a fresh gang of convicts came to the prison. In the evening the old prisoners collected around the new ones and asked them what towns or villages they came from, and what they were sentenced for. Among the rest Ivan sat down near the newcomers, and listened with downcast air to what was said.

One of the new convicts, a tall, strong man of sixty, with a closely cropped gray beard, was telling the others what he had been arrested for.

“Well, friends,” he said, “I only took a horse that was tied to a cart, and I was arrested and accused of stealing. I said I had only taken it to get home quicker, and had then let it go; besides, the driver was a personal friend of mine. So I said, ‘It’s all right.’ ‘No,’ they said, ‘you stole it.’ But how or where I stole it they could not say. I once really did something wrong, and ought by rights to have come here long ago, but that time I was not found out. Now I have been sent here for nothing at all…Eh, but it’s lies I’m telling you: I’ve been to Siberia before, but I did not stay long.”

“Where are you from?” asked someone.

“From Vladmir. My family are of that town. My name is Makar, and they also call me Semyonitch.”

Ivan raised his head and said: “Tell me, Semyonitch, so you know anything of the merchants Aksyonof, of Vladmir? Are they still alive?”

“Know them? Of course I do. The Aksyonofs are rich, though their father is in Siberia: a sinner like ourselves, it seems! As for you, Gran’dad, how did you come here?”

Ivan did not like to speak of his misfortune. He only sighed and said, “For my sins I have been in prison these twenty-six years.”

“What sins?” asked Makar Semyonitch.

But Ivan only said, “Well, well–I must have deserved it!” He would have said no more, but his companions told the newcomer how Ivan came to be in Siberia: how someone had killed a merchant and had put a knife among Ivan’s things, and Ivan had been unjustly condemned.

What’s the connection between Ivan and Semyonitch? Come back Thursday to find out!

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

Ivan has been convicted of murder, flogged, and sent to Siberia. How will he cope with the grave injustice done to him?

For twenty-six years Ivan lived as a convict in Siberia. His hair turned white as snow and his beard grew long, thin, and gray. All his mirth went; he stooped; he walked slowly, spoke little, and never laughed, but he often prayed.

In prison Ivan learned to make boots, and earned a little money, with which he bought The Lives of the Saints. He read this book when there was light enough in the prison; and on Sundays in the prison church he read the lessons and sang in the choir; for his voice was still good.

The prison authorities liked Ivan for his meekness, and his fellow prisoners respected him: they called him “Grandfather,” and “The Saint.” When they wanted to petition the prison authorities about anything, they always made Ivan their spokesman, and when there were quarrels among the prisoners they came to him to put things right, and to judge the matter.

No news reached Ivan from his home, and he did not even know if his wife and children were alive.

—

Another chance encounter is about to rock Ivan’s world. Come back on Thursday to find out what happens.

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy

Ivan has been arrested and charged with the murder a merchant from Ryazan. What will Ivan’s wife say?

Ivan’s wife was in despair, and did not know what to believe. Her children were all quite small; one was a baby at her breast.Taking them all with her, she went to the town where her husband was in jail. At first she was not allowed to see him; but after much begging, she obtained permission from the officials, and was taken to him. When she saw her husband in prison dress and in chains, shut up with thieves and criminals, she fell down and did not come to her senses for a long time. Then she drew her children to her, and sat down near him. She told him of things at home, and asked about what had happened to him. He told her all, and she asked, “What can we do now?”

“We must petition the Tsar not to let an innocent man perish.”

His wife told him that she had sent a petition to the Tsar, but that it had not been accepted.

Ivan did not reply, but only looked downcast.

Then his wife said, “It was not for nothing I dreamt your hair had turned gray. You remember? You should not have started that day..” And passing her fingers through his hair, she said, “Ivan, dear, tell your wife the truth; was it not you who did it?”

“So you, too, suspect me!” said Ivan, and hiding his face in his hands, he began to weep. Then a soldier came to say that his wife and children must go away; and Ivan said good-bye to his family for the last time.

When they were gone, Ivan recalled what had been said, and when he remembered that his wife had suspected him, he said to himself, “It seems that only God can know the truth, it is to Him alone we must appeal, and from Him alone expect mercy.”

And Ivan wrote no more petitions; gave up all hope, and only prayed to God.

Ivan was condemned to be flogged and sent to the mines. So he was flogged with a whip with a lash of leather thongs,  and when the wounds made by the whip healed, he was driven to Siberia with other convicts.

—

Allow yourself to feel Ivan’s pain, anger, and despair. Have you ever felt that way? How did you make sense of it? In our next post we’ll see how Ivan begins to handle his seeming abandonment by God and family.

—

Story adapted from “God Sees the Truth, But Waits” in Walk in the Light and Twenty-Three Tales by Leo Tolstoy